Hair today, gone tomorrow

For some it defines who they are, it's a statement, a nuisance or something that sets them apart from the rest ... but for me, my hair means much more than that - it's a visual reminder of where life's taken me.

I recently decided that it was time for a change ... it wouldn't be the first time I've cut my hair - and while many think "it's just hair," this time - its meaning really touched my core.

My hair's been witness to everything that's happened in my life, especially in the last 8 months - signifcant or not, that's why I can't say I didn't shed a tear while 10 inches of my hair was separated from me yesterday. As my cousin (and stylist) handed my hair, neatly in a braid to me - the last several months flahsed in my head for just a split second, and then I glanced up at the mirror and saw a new start, the next chapter.

As I weighed the pros and cons of starting anew, I had no doubt in my mind what I'd do with the 10 inches of me ... Locks of Love would be the perfect place to send it - a child who's living with a disease like cancer or Alopecia that causes hair loss will be given a hair piece fashioned with the hair I held so dear ... I would literally be turning my memories into a gift for a child in the name of my mother who died from cancer and a dear friend who recently battled the disease.

So the next time you think it's just hair, think again ... no matter what memories you and your hair have shared, it could be an amazing gift to a child in need.

Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

You've been gone for six months. The memory of your last moments remain so vivid in my memory - and while that was the hardest day of my life, it's the months that have followed that's been the true test of my strength.

Since you've been gone I've seen my first Thanksgiving, Christmas, wedding anniversary, birthday - and now a Mother's Day without you - it's a reality check I wasn't prepared for.

I never thought that I'd be choosing your Mother's Day flowers from a vendor across the street from the cemetery or whispering Happy Mother's Day to you as I arranged your flowers just right so I could fit the mini mylar balloon that says "I love you mom" into the vase ... and while I know I wasn't the only daughter missing her mother today, I couldn't help but cry and remember how much you mean to me and how much I miss you.

As Kauhi and I prepare for the chance to become parents, thoughts came flooding back to me of a conversation you and I had before you left. We both realized that you'd never get to meet the grandson or granddaughter we hoped to give you, you'd never get to buy the crib for the baby's room that you insisted would be your gift to us, and you'd never get to sing Holy Night in German to them during Christmas time like you used to with me ...

You'd often tell me about a baby boy you'd dream about - that you knew could be ours someday ... I hope you've had the chance to see him, to meet him and to hold him, I hope you've had a lifetime of memories with him - and whether he makes it "home" to us or not, I'm comforted in knowing he will know you.

Mom, I hope I make you proud, that I do all the things you wished for me and that I bring you comfort in knowing dad is in good hands and your children and grandchildren are living the life you hoped we would.

We love and miss you so much. Happy Mother's Day.

Love,
Baby