While we're about a month away from starting our alternative approach to pregnancy, we can't help but to hope for a miracle in the mean time. However as each day, week and month passes, it makes me wonder, "what will we do if it just doesn't happen for us?" While Kauhi says we'll travel and enjoy our time together, there's a piece of me that just wouldn't be complete. Kauhi and I have a lot of love to give - so naturally when the news about Sandra Bullock adopting a child from New Orleans hit the news today, the idea of adoption flooded my thoughts ... again.
Our initial conversation about adoption came up a couple of years ago in the event none of the treatments worked - although I did most of the talking. To my surprise, our family was split on the idea of adopting a child unless it was a niece or nephew, someone who shared our bloodline - or at the very least a child of Hawaiian decent. Soon enough though, the idea became a footnote at the end of all fertility conversations with friends and family - adopting was only a consideration after all other avenues were explored ... but a lot has happened over the past couple of years and I'm scared.
I'm now 35, my mother is gone, I'm helping to care for my elderly father, and I know the damage fertility drugs can do to a woman's body, the side-effects and the emotional burden the process involves - we've been through it all before.
While adoption comes with its own challenges (last I checked, it would require an entire year's salary) it's hard not to think about the millions of children that could thrive in a loving home, our home.
I think about what it would be like to see the little one for the first time - I'm sure it doesn't quite compare to giving birth, but it's really a "birth" in its own right. This child, this little being who may have ended up in the worst circumstances is given a "second birthday" with a family who can give him/her the loving environment every child deserves. Perhaps someday, if it is meant to be, after we're done with all the doctor appointments, needles and pills Kauhi and I will know the joy of celebrating a "second" birthday with a child of our very own.
Adoption is a difficult decision for any family, Liz. You're right though in that there are so many keiki out there who need loving parents. Ultimately, both of you will have to decide how much love you have in your heart to adopt a child. I think it's a harder decision for men then for women. Barry was not 100% in when we were considering adopting but I was already researching adoption loans and flights to China! Just keep the lines of communication open and know that God and your mom are helping you to see the right path (even if it doesn't seem that way right now). Love you both!
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