Happy Mother's Day

Dear Mom,

You've been gone for six months. The memory of your last moments remain so vivid in my memory - and while that was the hardest day of my life, it's the months that have followed that's been the true test of my strength.

Since you've been gone I've seen my first Thanksgiving, Christmas, wedding anniversary, birthday - and now a Mother's Day without you - it's a reality check I wasn't prepared for.

I never thought that I'd be choosing your Mother's Day flowers from a vendor across the street from the cemetery or whispering Happy Mother's Day to you as I arranged your flowers just right so I could fit the mini mylar balloon that says "I love you mom" into the vase ... and while I know I wasn't the only daughter missing her mother today, I couldn't help but cry and remember how much you mean to me and how much I miss you.

As Kauhi and I prepare for the chance to become parents, thoughts came flooding back to me of a conversation you and I had before you left. We both realized that you'd never get to meet the grandson or granddaughter we hoped to give you, you'd never get to buy the crib for the baby's room that you insisted would be your gift to us, and you'd never get to sing Holy Night in German to them during Christmas time like you used to with me ...

You'd often tell me about a baby boy you'd dream about - that you knew could be ours someday ... I hope you've had the chance to see him, to meet him and to hold him, I hope you've had a lifetime of memories with him - and whether he makes it "home" to us or not, I'm comforted in knowing he will know you.

Mom, I hope I make you proud, that I do all the things you wished for me and that I bring you comfort in knowing dad is in good hands and your children and grandchildren are living the life you hoped we would.

We love and miss you so much. Happy Mother's Day.

Love,
Baby